iBeat Blaxx? Really?

Oh, there have been some real winners, but this is the granddaddy of all marketing faux pauxes...s..es.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the iBeat Blaxx for the win.



Clearly designed for shockingly-white white people by shockingly-white white people.

I can't imagine the meeting that lead to this one...but let's try:

"OK, we're getting ready to launch our newest iBeat iPod ripoff and it's black. Ideas?"

"Call it 'Black' so people will know what color it is.

"Good idea but let's think outside of the box, Jennings. Think hip, what are kids into these days?"

"Those rappers, they are all into like to misspelling stuff."

"Great idea, Smithers, fo shizzy. Let's call it 'Blaxx.' It sounds dangerous AND it has TWO x's in it like porn and kids love porn. Get these things to market STAT."

"What about focus groups? Or maybe we should just say the entire name of our product a couple times aloud just to see what it sounds like."

"Jennings, you're fired. Everybody else; hookers and blow, my office in 15."

And so the iBeat Blaxx was born.

Here’s a letter from the fine folks over at Gizmodo to Ibeat. iBeat responded by saying they were shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, to discover that people find the name a wee bit offensive.

Would You Like Fries with that "D"

And we wonder why we've become a nation of bloated sacks.

In what can only be described as a stroke (pun) of marketing genius, McDonald's has started promoting Happy Meals on kid's report cards. Who could possibly foresee the negative press that might ensue from marketing high-fat foods to kids?

It's not like we have obesity problem in this country or anything. That sound you hear is the wheezing of millions of portly prepubescent progeny pounding down their third cheeseburger before the bell rings.

iPWND

That sound you hear? It’s the sweet sound of millions of smug iPhone owners crying out at once. Why? Well, Apple dropped the pain on them by dropping the price of the iPhone only months after its release that’s why. Ouch. What a pants kick.

Basically Apple is being forced to think like any company in a crowded marketplace and must adjust pricing to be competitive. Can it be? Apple? Wow.

Well, fanboys, you can still rush out and get the newest iPods (after waiting in line for days) and then flash them around like your new red badge of cool. But we’ll just have to see who laughs last from now on!

Luckily for Applephiles, help is on the way.



Ok, so I’m jealous. Sue me.