New Copywriterman Inc. World Headquarters

Copywriterman World Headquarters has relocated. Mote implementation and machine gun turret construction right on schedule. We expect the station to be fully operational soon.

CWH (as we call it) is located within a Dallas berg called Highland Park. This is not a land accustomed to betattooed bald men roaming the streets unescorted or in any other capacity than lawn-care specialist. I expect to be either arrested or lynched within the month.

Allow me to illuminate you as to the ultra-white-bread-conservative mindset of my hood and origins of my very reasonable and rational fears. The median family income in Highland Park is well over 300k. That is many times more than the GDP of The Copywriterman. That's 8 times more than the median income of the average Texan. I should add that rich people scare me. People with that type of money pay people to digest their food, drive cars that run on baby seals and look upon lesser lifeforms with scorn. People like that make people like me disappear and have all mention or memory us wiped out so it is as if we never were. Basically, that type of money turns you into either Pharaoh (as played by Yule Brenner) or Dr. No.

There is evidence to be considered. A story ran in the local paper announcing that the first black family had moved into the neighborhood...this was in 2004. Oddly, the story can't be found online anymore. It was a big deal. It ran on the front page. It was like an The Onion article sans sense of irony.

Here's a story about the first black person ever considered for membership of the local country club. There's also the long-standing history of Highland Park cops pulling people over for DWB (Driving While Black). It's a pretty open practice. Everybody knows they do it and, as the people that pay their salaries are the most powerful people in Dallas, nobody can do a thing about it. Racism is fine if you can afford it.

What I personally fear is getting hit with the dreaded DWBAT (Driving While Bald And Tattooed), which I believe they treat as a violent felony.

If I find myself faced with this situation, my plan is to fall down, curl up into the fetal position and cry. Cops feast on tears, it's like crack to them. Once their incapacitated in the throes sadistic ecstasy, I'll make my escape back to CWH and to the protection of my gun turrets and trip wires. Well, that is if the code inspector approves. He did seem a little shocked by my proposal. I admit, it is an ambitious project.
Quadanium Shield. You damn right. Not easy to find a retailer that carries it, but you really can't build a proper parameter defense system without it.